Everything was set up for the move. My boss juggled my roster so I get the day off; I had Sol and his van booked, except I underestimated traffic and was late signing the lease and getting the keys. The reason for the traffic was also that the Australian bushfire crisis was escalating two days before Christmas. In fact, as I drove up to my new home, the fire volunteers were busy unpacking the community fire fighting trailer stationed at my street. Here I was moving in with my furniture and stuff yet there was a real possibility I could be asked to evacuate at any moment. We were so busy unloading, but there was a part of me that wanted to watch the helicopters water bombing just 250 metres away.
Fortunately, my good friend Sol was a true legend and he helped me accomplish everything and finish by 3PM. In my entire life I have not had a plan that went as well or better than this move and Sol was the power piece that made it all possible. Gracias hermano.
I made it a point to sleep in my new home that night.
Tuesday, December 24, 2019
Monday, December 9, 2019
Four Weeks In
I am humbled and awed by the experience and skill of the chefs that I work with. I have total respect for their ability to think and plan a week ahead, I'm still struggling getting ahead by three days and I'm slowly getting there. On the plus side I find I'm enjoying myself more than I'm stressing out about putting on the best buffet menu that I can muster. At the moment my stress points is being able to present all the dishes by 5pm, and hopefully have made enough chicken to last until 6:30pm when the buffet closes. The former happened once, the latter more than once. The students try to keep me upbeat by saying it's because the students enjoy the food, so we run out. It's my fault for making it too tasty, apparently.
At my last service, I had so much fun with my students. As suggested by Chef iN, I got one of them to make the crumbed fish and earned the right to put her name on the dish. Then I got another two students to cook the noodles on the large wok. The other students all wanted that job after they've seen them doing it. I also gave myself an extra challenge of putting up an extra chicken dish and an extra vegetarian dish (all using left over prep). I was even cheeky enough to leave in the middle of service to visit the other kitchen just to show myself that I could.
Earlier that day, I also found a place to live in the mountains. I had lodged an application with the agents and I could potentially move in as early as next weekend. Let's see what happens and watch the universe unfold.
Thursday, November 21, 2019
First Service Done
Got up this morning and caught the sunrise at Sublime Point. Got in early to prep for my Filipino / Southeast Asian menu:
I was also caught out by a stove blowing out while I'm trying to cook my sauce, no wonder it wouldn't boil, grrrr. Chef Ls came in at the start of my service to hold my hand show me the rookie pitfalls and helped me fix them. I had a great Sous with one of the senior students, she helped me keep the service on track and also managed the team of junior students. All in all, I can't take credit for tonight, it was a team effort. I'm finally learning to embrace team collaboration.
Jasmin Rice and Wild Rice
Chopsuey Vegetables
Lemon Grass Pork with Atchara
Chicken Adobo Thigh Fillets
Ginger and Shallot Steamed Fish
I also had to prep three things for tomorrow night's menu:
Felafel
Lamb Kofta
Mint Yoghurt
Peri Peri Chicken
Already the first problem was there was no ready-made peri-peri sauce in the dry store, so plan B was to make my own. Then beautiful Chef Matt jumped in to help, he butterflied the birds and marinated them for me. He also made the mint yoghurt dressing for tonight, which had the remarkable effect of reducing my stress for tomorrow and today.
Then Chef iN and gave me two students to roll the felafel balls. I needed to get these in the freezer today to be ready to deep fry for tomorrow. That's another item off my task list. Later again, Chef iN advised me that they are chopping my vegetables for chopsuey. That was another huge load off my list.
Over the course of the day, I was learning how best to use the student labour to get things off my task list. It turns out, not all students are reliable, I've been caught out by a student just leaving trays out after having been told to put them in the hotbox. I'm willing to take the fault for this, I wasn't explicit with my instructions, and I have to remember I'm working with teenagers.
I was also caught out by a stove blowing out while I'm trying to cook my sauce, no wonder it wouldn't boil, grrrr. Chef Ls came in at the start of my service to hold my hand show me the rookie pitfalls and helped me fix them. I had a great Sous with one of the senior students, she helped me keep the service on track and also managed the team of junior students. All in all, I can't take credit for tonight, it was a team effort. I'm finally learning to embrace team collaboration.
I'm all set for tomorrow. I've got my menus set for Monday and Tuesday as well. Unlike working agency jobs, I'm enjoying coming up with my own menus and cook what I like to eat.
Bring on the weekend.
ps. The fish was a surprise hit with the kids.
Bring on the weekend.
ps. The fish was a surprise hit with the kids.
Saturday, November 16, 2019
Welcome to Hogwarts
DAY 1
Today is also my oldest daughter's birthday. I apologised for missing her birthday dinner out tonight. She is very understanding, and mature beyond my years.
Really excited. I drove up early to get settled into temporary accommodation at The University hereafter referred to as Hogwarts. The on-boarding process was most impressive. My manager shows up and introduces me to the different teams that we would be dealing with. It was a bit overwhelming, but somehow feeling the Pinoys supporting me gave me the encouragement I need to trek this journey. After that I get handed over to Chef iN who gets to 'induct' me into the new work place. I felt really welcomed and supported. Why aren't all job inductions like this? I felt really strange, we're spending a lazy hour walking around the campus, ducking into corridors and passageways, storage rooms, kitchens and gardens). It really does help to think it's my first day at Hogwarts. I can metaphorically feel the corridors and staircases swap orientations after I go through them.
The 2 main kitchens are busy, squads of white hats and black hats scurry around carrying or pushing trolleys, while others are cooking, chopping, or cleaning. I manage a professional yet warm introduction to each of the other Chef Instructors. The fact that they hit pause on their errands to shake my hand and welcome me, was the most touching experience yet.
"So when do we actually cook?" I was eager to help out and be useful, rather than spectating. It was exhilarating yet terrifying. I needed to show them I can jump in just like all the other jobs I had done as an Agency Chef.
I had to cook 25kg of mince into a Bolognese. Chef iN had already started the aromatics, all I had to do was empty the bags of mince into the largest pot I have ever had to cook on. This was a new record for me. I had to use a paddle to churn it around so that all of it is cooked through. It was so tall, I briefly considered standing on a milk crate to use the paddle.
Then Chef iN hands me over to the IT Guy to get me setup for email and other apps that are now integral to the operation of any large organisation. Word had got around that I used to be an 'IT Guy' too so we instantly bonded. As I logged on to my company email for the first time, he sighs "Oh. So few emails?", dreaming if he would ever have so few emails on his own inbox.
Then my manager shows up and invites me to join her and other staff for lunch buffet. Is this for real? I politely enjoyed their company. I ate lightly, and then I excused myself to return to the kitchen and help prep. There was 20kg of pork that was going out of date soon, do I have any ideas for a pork dish? I remembered the recent cooking class I had to teach so I suggested masterstock pork. I was told to go for it. I checked the recipe online and collected my mise en place. My head was screaming is that too much ginger or not enough for 25 fucking kg? Chef iN had all his chicken and potato roasting in the oven when we were called into an emergency meeting. All FOH and BOH were told that because of the bushfire situation, staff and students were being sent home to see to their families. that meant there was no cafe service that night and we had the next two days off if conditions persist. We put away all the food and closed the kitchen. I drove back to Sydney.
Bonus: I did make it to my daughter's birthday dinner after all. A precious gift from the terrible bushfire emergency.
DAY 2
My day off, I did my laundry, walked the dog, caught up with a good friend over lunch, and rediscovered shopping. I bought a new smart phone and moved to a pre-paid sim plan.
I came to the Girls school to see them at pick up time, I got to spend the afternoon and dinner with two of Them while the other was at swimming lessons. It was another precious gift from the terrible tragedy of the bushfires.
That night I struggled to put my sim into my new phone, I was unsure if it was the right way and I was to scared to break it if I forced it. I got son-in-law to do it for me. Oh god I feel old.
Midway through migrating my data to the new phone, the new phone rings with a caller Id I don't recognise. I answered it on speaker. Lucky because it was my manager notifying me to report back at work tomorrow. Part of me was disappointed, but part of me was relieved and excited to return to Hogwarts.
DAY 3
Students were being recalled for resumption of classes tomorrow, so we have dinner for 300 pax tonight. I knew it would take a lot of work to restart the kitchen operations after such an abrupt shutdown so I drove back to Hogwarts and offered my help where I can do some good. Exec Chef delegated staff lunch to Chef iN, we had wagyu steak and chips. How good is this?
Then it was back to work, where served the menu we were meant to serve on Day 1. I observed and took lots of mental notes on how it runs. Meanwhile I also noted the other black hatted chefs and what they were working on. Exec chef was doing something exquisitely delicate with toffee and chocolate molds, others were cooking trays of meat, fish, and veg on the combis (the commercial kitchen's workhorse). As I am to learn, this is what it takes to feed 300 pax three meals a day.
DAY 4
I was up at the crack of dawn, but it was still 4 hours before my shift starts. I jumped in the car and drove to the Town Centre to explore the neighbourhood and visit Real Estate for rental listings. Walked and looked around, bought a couple of things at ALDI.
I came in to work early again, eager to show I'm a team player. This time I was working with Chef iF, Chef iN was busy doing a special function with Exec Chef. They needed a soup so I suggested Thai pumpkin soup. They said go for it. I repurposed most of my mise en place for masterstock and checked online recipes to get an idea for measures and ratios. I've never made 40 litres before.
Mid shift, I was handed my nameplate and my name badge. It was official, and shit just got real. I was officially part of Hogwarts teaching staff, students can now read my name on the door and on my shoulder.
At the end of shift, I wanted a beer in a bar 15 minutes drive away. Freaking roadworks screwed my navigation, by the time I got to the bar, they were stacking stools on the tables. Plan B was the local pub, I managed to catch the last 2 minutes of a song being played and sang raucously by dozens of musicians. It was their once a month ukelele jam. I finished my beer and drove back.
DAY 5
I was up at the crack of dawn, and this time I was determined to catch the sunrise. I jumped in the car and drove to the closest look out that had an easterly aspect. It was magnificent.
I drove 20 minutes west and explored the local area I was thinking of moving to. I stopped. took in the views, took photos. I even hugged a tree. It was then I realised I was attuned to looking for beauty anywhere I am. And there was so much around here.
It would be another hour before the Estate Agents open, so I stopped for breakfast at a local cafe. I saw the most buff old man in a tank top and jeans. He became my new fitness inspiration. When i am older I would like younger men to think I am the buffest old man they have ever seen hahaha.
The Estate Agent suggested I do drive by of their listed properties. I drove past two. At one of them, a neighbour said hello. Already I feel welcome. This must be a sign, but I can't just peek at 2 properties and make a decision. or can I?
Back at work I learned that my training wheels come off next Thursday. I am freaking out again. So I throw myself into the work. Every sack, every pot, every box I lift is a clever gym work out. What about cardio? Are you fucking kidding me?
Also I squeeze every minute of the shift to pick up as many tips and tricks as I can. I got to make cajun spiced barramundi, and mac and cheese.
Near the end of shift, I skinned my knuckle on a gastronome as I picked up a stack. I had to take a beat and get bandaged up before getting back into the fray. The kitchen gods demanded a blood offering, which I have now fulfilled. I hope they have a light appetite.
Thus ended my first week.
Today is also my oldest daughter's birthday. I apologised for missing her birthday dinner out tonight. She is very understanding, and mature beyond my years.
Really excited. I drove up early to get settled into temporary accommodation at The University hereafter referred to as Hogwarts. The on-boarding process was most impressive. My manager shows up and introduces me to the different teams that we would be dealing with. It was a bit overwhelming, but somehow feeling the Pinoys supporting me gave me the encouragement I need to trek this journey. After that I get handed over to Chef iN who gets to 'induct' me into the new work place. I felt really welcomed and supported. Why aren't all job inductions like this? I felt really strange, we're spending a lazy hour walking around the campus, ducking into corridors and passageways, storage rooms, kitchens and gardens). It really does help to think it's my first day at Hogwarts. I can metaphorically feel the corridors and staircases swap orientations after I go through them.
The 2 main kitchens are busy, squads of white hats and black hats scurry around carrying or pushing trolleys, while others are cooking, chopping, or cleaning. I manage a professional yet warm introduction to each of the other Chef Instructors. The fact that they hit pause on their errands to shake my hand and welcome me, was the most touching experience yet.
"So when do we actually cook?" I was eager to help out and be useful, rather than spectating. It was exhilarating yet terrifying. I needed to show them I can jump in just like all the other jobs I had done as an Agency Chef.
I had to cook 25kg of mince into a Bolognese. Chef iN had already started the aromatics, all I had to do was empty the bags of mince into the largest pot I have ever had to cook on. This was a new record for me. I had to use a paddle to churn it around so that all of it is cooked through. It was so tall, I briefly considered standing on a milk crate to use the paddle.
Then Chef iN hands me over to the IT Guy to get me setup for email and other apps that are now integral to the operation of any large organisation. Word had got around that I used to be an 'IT Guy' too so we instantly bonded. As I logged on to my company email for the first time, he sighs "Oh. So few emails?", dreaming if he would ever have so few emails on his own inbox.
Then my manager shows up and invites me to join her and other staff for lunch buffet. Is this for real? I politely enjoyed their company. I ate lightly, and then I excused myself to return to the kitchen and help prep. There was 20kg of pork that was going out of date soon, do I have any ideas for a pork dish? I remembered the recent cooking class I had to teach so I suggested masterstock pork. I was told to go for it. I checked the recipe online and collected my mise en place. My head was screaming is that too much ginger or not enough for 25 fucking kg? Chef iN had all his chicken and potato roasting in the oven when we were called into an emergency meeting. All FOH and BOH were told that because of the bushfire situation, staff and students were being sent home to see to their families. that meant there was no cafe service that night and we had the next two days off if conditions persist. We put away all the food and closed the kitchen. I drove back to Sydney.
Bonus: I did make it to my daughter's birthday dinner after all. A precious gift from the terrible bushfire emergency.
DAY 2
My day off, I did my laundry, walked the dog, caught up with a good friend over lunch, and rediscovered shopping. I bought a new smart phone and moved to a pre-paid sim plan.
I came to the Girls school to see them at pick up time, I got to spend the afternoon and dinner with two of Them while the other was at swimming lessons. It was another precious gift from the terrible tragedy of the bushfires.
That night I struggled to put my sim into my new phone, I was unsure if it was the right way and I was to scared to break it if I forced it. I got son-in-law to do it for me. Oh god I feel old.
Midway through migrating my data to the new phone, the new phone rings with a caller Id I don't recognise. I answered it on speaker. Lucky because it was my manager notifying me to report back at work tomorrow. Part of me was disappointed, but part of me was relieved and excited to return to Hogwarts.
DAY 3
Students were being recalled for resumption of classes tomorrow, so we have dinner for 300 pax tonight. I knew it would take a lot of work to restart the kitchen operations after such an abrupt shutdown so I drove back to Hogwarts and offered my help where I can do some good. Exec Chef delegated staff lunch to Chef iN, we had wagyu steak and chips. How good is this?
Then it was back to work, where served the menu we were meant to serve on Day 1. I observed and took lots of mental notes on how it runs. Meanwhile I also noted the other black hatted chefs and what they were working on. Exec chef was doing something exquisitely delicate with toffee and chocolate molds, others were cooking trays of meat, fish, and veg on the combis (the commercial kitchen's workhorse). As I am to learn, this is what it takes to feed 300 pax three meals a day.
DAY 4
I was up at the crack of dawn, but it was still 4 hours before my shift starts. I jumped in the car and drove to the Town Centre to explore the neighbourhood and visit Real Estate for rental listings. Walked and looked around, bought a couple of things at ALDI.
I came in to work early again, eager to show I'm a team player. This time I was working with Chef iF, Chef iN was busy doing a special function with Exec Chef. They needed a soup so I suggested Thai pumpkin soup. They said go for it. I repurposed most of my mise en place for masterstock and checked online recipes to get an idea for measures and ratios. I've never made 40 litres before.
Mid shift, I was handed my nameplate and my name badge. It was official, and shit just got real. I was officially part of Hogwarts teaching staff, students can now read my name on the door and on my shoulder.
At the end of shift, I wanted a beer in a bar 15 minutes drive away. Freaking roadworks screwed my navigation, by the time I got to the bar, they were stacking stools on the tables. Plan B was the local pub, I managed to catch the last 2 minutes of a song being played and sang raucously by dozens of musicians. It was their once a month ukelele jam. I finished my beer and drove back.
DAY 5
I was up at the crack of dawn, and this time I was determined to catch the sunrise. I jumped in the car and drove to the closest look out that had an easterly aspect. It was magnificent.
It would be another hour before the Estate Agents open, so I stopped for breakfast at a local cafe. I saw the most buff old man in a tank top and jeans. He became my new fitness inspiration. When i am older I would like younger men to think I am the buffest old man they have ever seen hahaha.
The Estate Agent suggested I do drive by of their listed properties. I drove past two. At one of them, a neighbour said hello. Already I feel welcome. This must be a sign, but I can't just peek at 2 properties and make a decision. or can I?
Back at work I learned that my training wheels come off next Thursday. I am freaking out again. So I throw myself into the work. Every sack, every pot, every box I lift is a clever gym work out. What about cardio? Are you fucking kidding me?
Also I squeeze every minute of the shift to pick up as many tips and tricks as I can. I got to make cajun spiced barramundi, and mac and cheese.
Near the end of shift, I skinned my knuckle on a gastronome as I picked up a stack. I had to take a beat and get bandaged up before getting back into the fray. The kitchen gods demanded a blood offering, which I have now fulfilled. I hope they have a light appetite.
Thus ended my first week.
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
New Season Premiere
I GOT THE JOB !
Thank you Universe for catching me from a long terrifying fall. This is what this blog was about: Taking that Leap of Faith I have recently found myself homeless, penniless and jobless -the dark trifecta. Thanks to charity from my family and friends (again) , I have survived. I learned to let go of my fierce independence, try not to be superman, admit my vulnerability, and graciously accept help.
There were many moments when I would find myself missing the girls, so I made it into a reminder to do 5 push ups (because fitness). As sad as it makes me, I can allow myself to be sad and channel that energy into something else.
I spent weeks trolling through the job finding websites and LinkedIn chasing anything that remotely looked like it could be something I am capable of doing like a parking ranger, factory worker, or administration assistant. Occasionally I would find an IT job that I might just be able to take a crack at and I metaphorically blow off the dust from my IT resume. Each time I pick a job, it feels like online dating, I get a mild crush about the job description, so I tweak my cover letter, I tweak my resume and send in an application. Each one of these tweaks can take anything from five minutes to two hours (yeah those were the IT jobs). Some days I can manage to send 5 applications, I write them down on my job journal, some days I can barely manage to send 3. It is exhausting having to emotionally reset for each application.
And then weeks later, I would get the rejection letter. I cross it off my job journal, try and learn from the nicely worded feedback about why my application was unsuccessful. And then remind myself to keep sending more applications because we cannot wait weeks for a response that may never come. Responses were sometimes quick and sometimes slow, but if I haven't heard back in 4 weeks I classify as lost. I also worry about bots, the robots that screen all the applications, who knows what they have been programmed to look for and which to reject? I despair.
But then I have to force myself to be upbeat again, because I just found another interesting job as a DJ, I need to tweak my resume and cover letter again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Until I was contacted by a recruiter. All this time I have been chasing jobs, when the real trick was to wait for the job to find me.
My salvation does not come cheap, distance from my children was the price I have to pay. I pay it reluctantly, not grudgingly, for I am grateful. A chefing job was not what I was job searching for because, well I was already chefing as part time casual. But oh do you see what is happening now? This was the journey I started a decade ago when I left my IT job to become a chef. Except now I also have 2 more beautiful kids.
Over the next 3 days, i will be working as a chef, and then have Sunday off, before I start my new life in the mountains. It sounds crazy but I may need extra time to wrap my head around it all.
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
How to Adult 2.0
*blues guitar DUM-dudum-dudum-duh-dududuh- repeat*
Woke up this morning,
took the dog for a walk
Woke up this morning
took the dog for a walk.
The sun is shininnnn
The moon she's smilin,
I'm gonna get that job today
Then I got in the shower
Got myself a fresh shave
Yeah I got in the shower
Got myself a fresh shave
Slipped on my new belt
Put on my shiny suit
I'm gonna get that job today
Drove for an hour
Up the mountains way out west
Drove for an hour
Up the mountains way out west
And when I got there
With time enough to rest
Cuz I'm gonna get that job today
We spoke for an hour
About who I really am
We spoke for an hour
About who I really am
SO they know who they're gettin
When I come a workin
I'm gonna get that job today.
Thursday, September 19, 2019
Michael's Morning Prayer
I am grateful for another day
In which to pursue my life with purpose
To enrich the lives of everyone I come into contact with
To empathise with all beings, feel their joy and their pain
Share my joy and sometimes sorrow
To accept that this day was given for me to grow and discover
Life and living to the full
I will be here, today
Not yesterday, nor tomorrow, just today.
I honour and cherish today as a gift.
I am grateful to be here.
28 JUN 2006
Sunday, June 2, 2019
Weeding my Mind garden
I used to really hate doing menial chores of any kind. Growing up I had sets of chores to do and hated even having to do them. I did them anyway just so I can be allowed to go out and play. Chore was just something I had to endure in order to get me where I actually wanted to be. My mind was always in the future.
However, lately I've started to fall in love with a chore. I started turning the tasks of sorting laundry into some kind of mindfulness meditation exercise. Lately I've cherished these moments of solo tasking as opposed to multi-tasking. When I focus on the article in my hand and what I must do with it, I find I am anchored to the present. The sane happens also when I'm doing the dishes, and now it appears, also with weeding the garden.
The first choice is categorizing which are plants that are permanent residents, and which plants are unwelcome for that particular patch of soil. Next thing is learning how to positively identify weed species: what are their features? what do their leaves and buds look like? what's the best way of removing the weed while inflicting as little harm as possible to neighbouring desirable plants.
I then had the insight that the garden could be a metaphor for my mind,
and that every plant is an idea
... that branches into even more ideas
... that they can intertwine and interweave
and thrive
or die.
And that grand forest of ideas all sprouts from tiny seeds that were once a single thought.
Not all those thoughts are my own. Many are deliberately put there by other people, with commercial interests. News, Opinion, Advertisements, Street Art, Pop Music, School, the list is endless.
If my mind is my garden, which ideas do I spend the most time on? Was it my own? Are these ideas the best ones to nurture and bear fruit? Or have I plenty of weeds in my garden? Ideas that don't belong or don't serve, yet take up valuable space and time. Some of these have deep roots. Do I have the tenacity and the courage to get at the core of that idea and let it go?
It's common sense that we watch what we ingest, we know not to drink poison and to prefer yummy over less tasty regardless of how we are told they are good for us. Same with our thoughts, we generally choose what to think, yet we are influenced from outside.
Until I saw that ad, I wasn't thirsty, or hungry. Until I saw that ad, I was quite satisfied with my car and my home. Until I saw that I ad, I felt confident, attractive, sexy. These were thoughts put into my brain by relentless advertising, all screaming for my attention. All, sadly, at the expense of other thoughts that I could have chosen to reflect, even enjoy sometimes.
Sometimes, it's not even advertising. Sometimes it's just the people in our lives. That grumpy co-worker who spreads negativity all over, do we really want to let ugly seeds take root in our garden? How about that offensive tweet/meme/social media post, is it fertilizer for some outrage that's already spreading in our minds?
I have invasive thoughts and ideas that threaten to overgrow and suffocate my own ideas, my hopes, my dreams. Where did this idea come from? Something I watched or read on the internet? A news clip? A blog? A movie? A book? Perhaps some narrative that I made out of my own personal experiences? After some reflection, do I need this in my mental garden? How can I pull out this weed and keep it from returning into my garden?
Or maybe it is a great idea and totally supports my values, my relationships, my journey, my ambitions. Ideas like these need to be nurtured and given time and energy. Prune the dead branches, nurture it with time and energy, we can even graft and intertwine with other ideas, and eventually with hope it will bear fruit.
Don't let the weeds take up your time and energy, give it instead to the garden that you want to have.
However, lately I've started to fall in love with a chore. I started turning the tasks of sorting laundry into some kind of mindfulness meditation exercise. Lately I've cherished these moments of solo tasking as opposed to multi-tasking. When I focus on the article in my hand and what I must do with it, I find I am anchored to the present. The sane happens also when I'm doing the dishes, and now it appears, also with weeding the garden.
The first choice is categorizing which are plants that are permanent residents, and which plants are unwelcome for that particular patch of soil. Next thing is learning how to positively identify weed species: what are their features? what do their leaves and buds look like? what's the best way of removing the weed while inflicting as little harm as possible to neighbouring desirable plants.
I then had the insight that the garden could be a metaphor for my mind,
and that every plant is an idea
... that branches into even more ideas
... that they can intertwine and interweave
and thrive
or die.
And that grand forest of ideas all sprouts from tiny seeds that were once a single thought.
Not all those thoughts are my own. Many are deliberately put there by other people, with commercial interests. News, Opinion, Advertisements, Street Art, Pop Music, School, the list is endless.
If my mind is my garden, which ideas do I spend the most time on? Was it my own? Are these ideas the best ones to nurture and bear fruit? Or have I plenty of weeds in my garden? Ideas that don't belong or don't serve, yet take up valuable space and time. Some of these have deep roots. Do I have the tenacity and the courage to get at the core of that idea and let it go?
It's common sense that we watch what we ingest, we know not to drink poison and to prefer yummy over less tasty regardless of how we are told they are good for us. Same with our thoughts, we generally choose what to think, yet we are influenced from outside.
Until I saw that ad, I wasn't thirsty, or hungry. Until I saw that ad, I was quite satisfied with my car and my home. Until I saw that I ad, I felt confident, attractive, sexy. These were thoughts put into my brain by relentless advertising, all screaming for my attention. All, sadly, at the expense of other thoughts that I could have chosen to reflect, even enjoy sometimes.
Sometimes, it's not even advertising. Sometimes it's just the people in our lives. That grumpy co-worker who spreads negativity all over, do we really want to let ugly seeds take root in our garden? How about that offensive tweet/meme/social media post, is it fertilizer for some outrage that's already spreading in our minds?
I have invasive thoughts and ideas that threaten to overgrow and suffocate my own ideas, my hopes, my dreams. Where did this idea come from? Something I watched or read on the internet? A news clip? A blog? A movie? A book? Perhaps some narrative that I made out of my own personal experiences? After some reflection, do I need this in my mental garden? How can I pull out this weed and keep it from returning into my garden?
Or maybe it is a great idea and totally supports my values, my relationships, my journey, my ambitions. Ideas like these need to be nurtured and given time and energy. Prune the dead branches, nurture it with time and energy, we can even graft and intertwine with other ideas, and eventually with hope it will bear fruit.
Don't let the weeds take up your time and energy, give it instead to the garden that you want to have.
Monday, March 11, 2019
Contentious Cancel Culture
Michael Jackson's legacy is fighting for survival as we speak. Damning allegations of improper sexual relations with children threaten to take down the most powerful cultural icon yet.
Radio stations are expunging Michael Jackson content from their libraries. The Simpsons have pulled an episode from future re-airings because it featured Michael Jackson's voice.
Is it no longer acceptable to eat the sausage once we learned what had gone into it?
This kind of thing has been going on for a long time, but has drawn a lot of attention because of the sheer magnitude of the creative identities getting caught up. I grew up liking The Cosby Show, but after Bill Cosby's rape conviction , I'm not comfortable supporting the show anymore.
Then of course there's Harvey Weinstein, and Kevin Spacey, and recently I just learned of Pixar co-founder John Lasseter leaving Disney after being stood down for sexual harassment and after being parachuted into Skydance to head its animation division. This triggered actor Emma Thompson's resignation from a Skydance production which she explains in an open letter.
As much as I agree with Thompson's views on how it's hard to award trust back to people who have been perpetrators, I feel that is a concern for today and how we as a society conduct ourselves in the future. However, I'm troubled with re-examining or re-evaluating past achievements under the glare of the #metoo floodlights.
For years we have been enjoying Michael Jackson songs, videos, and performances. This have gone on and arguably influenced thousands of other artists and significantly, our popular culture. Same goes for those Weinstein and Pixar movies.
After we have been enjoying eating the delicious sausages for decades, we find that the sausage makers hands are dirty. Are those sausages now impossible to enjoy?
What about if the sausage makers promised to wash their hands for all future sausages? do we give them a chance and taste the new sausages?
For me personally, I think that everyone deserves a chance to reform, but reform must be accompanied by justice. Justice means to correct the wrongs that have been committed, and especially if it's really not possible to roll back the clock, then there must be a reasonable period of contrition and penance.
I believe that the works of individuals, -and all of us are flawed, should not be discarded. No one man has created those pop songs and movies. Hundreds and thousands of innocent creators, musicians, producers, performers and technicians have poured their labour and talents into those projects and do not deserve to lose their work because their boss was a dick.
Michael Jackson's legacy should be judged separately from his human failings. I should still be able to enjoy Toy Story and appreciate all the artists and workers who put it together even if their work environment at the time was a cesspit of sexism and misogyny.
It may take time, maybe for now we are just too close to the trauma. Beyond close, we are still living in it and working to heal the hurt. We are working to change things so that everyone accepts that abuse of women and children is not okay particularly if we hold a position of power.
Perhaps in a hundred year's time, future generations will rediscover all these cultural artifacts that we are trying to disown today. Perhaps by then, people would look back at our time and think to themselves, "Those times were terrible for women and children, I'm so glad we are no longer like that. Yet they still managed to make great music and movies."
Radio stations are expunging Michael Jackson content from their libraries. The Simpsons have pulled an episode from future re-airings because it featured Michael Jackson's voice.
Is it no longer acceptable to eat the sausage once we learned what had gone into it?
This kind of thing has been going on for a long time, but has drawn a lot of attention because of the sheer magnitude of the creative identities getting caught up. I grew up liking The Cosby Show, but after Bill Cosby's rape conviction , I'm not comfortable supporting the show anymore.
Then of course there's Harvey Weinstein, and Kevin Spacey, and recently I just learned of Pixar co-founder John Lasseter leaving Disney after being stood down for sexual harassment and after being parachuted into Skydance to head its animation division. This triggered actor Emma Thompson's resignation from a Skydance production which she explains in an open letter.
As much as I agree with Thompson's views on how it's hard to award trust back to people who have been perpetrators, I feel that is a concern for today and how we as a society conduct ourselves in the future. However, I'm troubled with re-examining or re-evaluating past achievements under the glare of the #metoo floodlights.
For years we have been enjoying Michael Jackson songs, videos, and performances. This have gone on and arguably influenced thousands of other artists and significantly, our popular culture. Same goes for those Weinstein and Pixar movies.
After we have been enjoying eating the delicious sausages for decades, we find that the sausage makers hands are dirty. Are those sausages now impossible to enjoy?
What about if the sausage makers promised to wash their hands for all future sausages? do we give them a chance and taste the new sausages?
For me personally, I think that everyone deserves a chance to reform, but reform must be accompanied by justice. Justice means to correct the wrongs that have been committed, and especially if it's really not possible to roll back the clock, then there must be a reasonable period of contrition and penance.
I believe that the works of individuals, -and all of us are flawed, should not be discarded. No one man has created those pop songs and movies. Hundreds and thousands of innocent creators, musicians, producers, performers and technicians have poured their labour and talents into those projects and do not deserve to lose their work because their boss was a dick.
Michael Jackson's legacy should be judged separately from his human failings. I should still be able to enjoy Toy Story and appreciate all the artists and workers who put it together even if their work environment at the time was a cesspit of sexism and misogyny.
It may take time, maybe for now we are just too close to the trauma. Beyond close, we are still living in it and working to heal the hurt. We are working to change things so that everyone accepts that abuse of women and children is not okay particularly if we hold a position of power.
Perhaps in a hundred year's time, future generations will rediscover all these cultural artifacts that we are trying to disown today. Perhaps by then, people would look back at our time and think to themselves, "Those times were terrible for women and children, I'm so glad we are no longer like that. Yet they still managed to make great music and movies."
Monday, February 11, 2019
Glimpse of Greener Grass
While I was learning how out of my depth I was with the stand up comedy, I also landed an amazing gig as a demonstration chef for Beefeater BBQs. I mean what's not to love about preparing food and serving food to people who don't have to pay for it? On the contrary, we were using food to purchase people's goodwill, the hope that when it comes time to shop for a BBQ perhaps months or years in the future, they may still remember that crazy Asian chef who made us eat free food. Perhaps have a fond recollection of the brand with sufficient goodwill that they purchase the brand. It's also called "customer experiential marketing", but I like calling myself a brand ambassador (sounds better than promoter or spruiker).
Then my agent asked me if I was willing to apply for a permanent full time position for another prestige appliance brand. Beatriz and I had a calm and serious discussion about how this will impact our Salsa for Seniors dance classes, i.e. without me being there to co-teach with her. Strange how it still feels odd to say that I make a living out of my passion for Salsa dance.
However, cooking is also another of my passions, so we both agreed I should be able to pursue a chefing opportunity as they present. Both children are now in primary school so most of the day is available for gainful employment. I daydreamed about a return to a typical middle-class lifestyle. Go to work, go home, get paid, spend, repeat. But seriously, it would give us a measure of security we haven't had before, knowing there is that paycheck to expect. As the last 18 months have proven to us: business owners don't have paid sick leave. I also felt I was a good fit for the role because of my life experience as an IT professional prior to working in the kitchen. I came to the interview and kept both interviewers engaged for nearly an hour. I felt great coming home after the interview. I was moderately confident I got the job.
I didn't.
The team leader felt that I was still lacking in experience. Fair call. I was kind of hoping enthusiasm and engagement counted for more, but that's life. It took a little bit longer to emotionally detach from those daydreams I had of life as it could have been if I had got the job.
Feeling a little disappointed so now what can I do to pick up my mood? Well how about I take a shift in a new kitchen to help accumulate more hours of experience that I so desperately needed in greater abundance. I said yes to a 12 hour split shift with a 2 hour break in the middle.
The exec chef puts me to work searing about 150 mini burger patties to go into sliders for tonight's catering event. Two of us casual chefs finished this task and were then sent to a satellite kitchen to finish assembling the sliders: bun, mayo, patty, tomato, bbq sauce, bun. With a bamboo stick through it to keep the tiny burgers together. Next I was given a whole prosciutto to slice into fine wide ribbons. These would be later rolled up into rosettes and arranged on serving boards.
I saved the prosciutto offcuts and the left over buns and brought it up to the staff room to share over lunch. After the break, it was all hands on deck to set up the cocktail buffet and serve up the cocktail menu for 300 pax. And then it got busy. Traying, piping, deep frying. at some point I was tasked with blanching cooked pasta, abuut 5 kilos. If I drop all 5 kilos in, the giant pot would drop off the boil and will take ages to get back to boiling. Turns out that's how you do it.
At the end of the service, all the left over food was binned, As a professional chef, I understand that all that food has been out of temperature control for over 2 hours. Left over can not be resold to any customer. I watched as gastronome trays of good food are tipped into the wheelie bin. Trays of uneaten but artfully rolled prosciutto also went in the bin. It reminded me of holocaust film clips of bodies bulldozed into mass graves. It mad me sick, I couldn't sleep even though I was physically exhausted, Those sliders were my babies, from the moment I flipped each patty until we arranged 26 little sliders on a serving board for the waiters to serve. We binned so many of my babies, I was only able to sleep after I had a moment to weep for my discarded babies, If it were up to me I would have happily walked around Pitt Street with a full tray of sliders and offer them to strangers while wearing my uniform of the establishment. We could have traded that waste for goodwill.
Then my agent asked me if I was willing to apply for a permanent full time position for another prestige appliance brand. Beatriz and I had a calm and serious discussion about how this will impact our Salsa for Seniors dance classes, i.e. without me being there to co-teach with her. Strange how it still feels odd to say that I make a living out of my passion for Salsa dance.
However, cooking is also another of my passions, so we both agreed I should be able to pursue a chefing opportunity as they present. Both children are now in primary school so most of the day is available for gainful employment. I daydreamed about a return to a typical middle-class lifestyle. Go to work, go home, get paid, spend, repeat. But seriously, it would give us a measure of security we haven't had before, knowing there is that paycheck to expect. As the last 18 months have proven to us: business owners don't have paid sick leave. I also felt I was a good fit for the role because of my life experience as an IT professional prior to working in the kitchen. I came to the interview and kept both interviewers engaged for nearly an hour. I felt great coming home after the interview. I was moderately confident I got the job.
I didn't.
The team leader felt that I was still lacking in experience. Fair call. I was kind of hoping enthusiasm and engagement counted for more, but that's life. It took a little bit longer to emotionally detach from those daydreams I had of life as it could have been if I had got the job.
Feeling a little disappointed so now what can I do to pick up my mood? Well how about I take a shift in a new kitchen to help accumulate more hours of experience that I so desperately needed in greater abundance. I said yes to a 12 hour split shift with a 2 hour break in the middle.
The exec chef puts me to work searing about 150 mini burger patties to go into sliders for tonight's catering event. Two of us casual chefs finished this task and were then sent to a satellite kitchen to finish assembling the sliders: bun, mayo, patty, tomato, bbq sauce, bun. With a bamboo stick through it to keep the tiny burgers together. Next I was given a whole prosciutto to slice into fine wide ribbons. These would be later rolled up into rosettes and arranged on serving boards.
I saved the prosciutto offcuts and the left over buns and brought it up to the staff room to share over lunch. After the break, it was all hands on deck to set up the cocktail buffet and serve up the cocktail menu for 300 pax. And then it got busy. Traying, piping, deep frying. at some point I was tasked with blanching cooked pasta, abuut 5 kilos. If I drop all 5 kilos in, the giant pot would drop off the boil and will take ages to get back to boiling. Turns out that's how you do it.
At the end of the service, all the left over food was binned, As a professional chef, I understand that all that food has been out of temperature control for over 2 hours. Left over can not be resold to any customer. I watched as gastronome trays of good food are tipped into the wheelie bin. Trays of uneaten but artfully rolled prosciutto also went in the bin. It reminded me of holocaust film clips of bodies bulldozed into mass graves. It mad me sick, I couldn't sleep even though I was physically exhausted, Those sliders were my babies, from the moment I flipped each patty until we arranged 26 little sliders on a serving board for the waiters to serve. We binned so many of my babies, I was only able to sleep after I had a moment to weep for my discarded babies, If it were up to me I would have happily walked around Pitt Street with a full tray of sliders and offer them to strangers while wearing my uniform of the establishment. We could have traded that waste for goodwill.
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