God has a sense of humour

A friend of mine sent me a text message with a contact for a kitchen job in Elizabeth Bay which is the furthest I've ever considered for a job. However, I trust the cosmos, my current nearby and convenient jobs aren't really working out for me so I can take a hint. Sometimes though, the message you think you are getting is not necessarily the message you get.

Over the week-end I confided in my friends about my dilemma, they all told me not to lose faith, that it all works out in the end if I can just hang in there. So went for a trial and interview with this cafe in Elizabeth Bay at 7AM (at least it's an improvement from the 5AM start at the other job). The kitchen was tiny, my old office cubicle was large by comparisson. During the trial I met the current cook, a young backpacker from Canada, only one of us could be in the kitchen at any one time. During the service he would look over my shoulder and walk me through each dish. I was thinking, hey this is easy, I can do this. By 12 noon, Robert the owner told me I can go and to start tomorrow at 7AM. Woo-hoo! I got the job.

On my way back to my car I walked past a few real estate agents and browsed the list of properties available for rent in the area. They were surprisingly affordable. As I drove home I felt my spirits lifted, that yes indeed, things are going to work out.

The next day I showed up for work expecting to put in a full day of work. When the customer traffic trailed off at 10AM, Robert gave me my 3 hours pay and told me he's cutting me as there aren't enough customers. I went home annoyed that the last two days less travel expenses had netted me maybe 20 bucks.

For the rest of the week I moped around worried that I can't survive like this. Add to the fact that I would have to move out of my current apartment since it's been sold to new owners. My faith is wavering again.

On Saturday morning, my sister Marlene rings me to ask me to look at this rental property in Meadowbank, about 4Kms closer to the city than my current address. She was really motivated by fear that she won't get an apartment and is at the point that she'd take any apartment that would have her as a tenant, regardless of how shitty the place was.

I fought to maintain my positive attitude and inspected this apartment. It was at the top floor, my immediate thought was, man this would be a bugger for moving furniture. My second thought though was, but hey I would get fit coming up and down these stairs. The apartment turned out to be pretty good, the primary attraction for me was the timber flooring: Salsa Parties! Overall the place had a good vibe. At that point I knew I could live here.

Marlene was able to catch up just before the agents locked up. She agreed that the place was acceptable. We looked at two other properties that day. I couldn't believe Marlene was considering putting in an application for those shabby units. I realised that her attitude was the mirror that I had been fearing all this time. Desperation. When one does not trust in the universe, you grab the first thing that is available because the likelyhood is that nothing better is going to come along. Dreamers like me believe that the right opportunity will come along. That we deserve something better -because the universe isn't out to screw me.

She put in the application for the Meadowbank unit. And she started scheduling another week of searching for other places, because she didn't trust that she would get the unit. Monday she took the day off to look at other properties ahead of the Saturday crowd. That same day the agents called to let her know her application for the Meadowbank unit has been approved. I just told her, see? The universe works itself out, you got yourself stressed for nothing.

Meanwhile I'm still worried about my income stream. This is the 5th week that I haven't gotten any shifts from About Life (my casual employers). I went to the Elizabeth Bay cafe this morning even though Robert did not call me in. It was a long drive but I was trusting the cosmos. Robert told me to go home, that he would call me if he needed me.

I tried to salvage my trip to the city. I tried contacting a girl I know who lives in the area for an impromptu breakfast. She said not on such short notice. I took a walk at Rushcutters Bay park and set on the bench for an hour watching personal trainers, joggers and dog-walkers go about their lovely little Eastern Sydney lives, with just a touch of envy. But then I took stock of where I was, I have my whole day free in front of me. I don't have to be stuck at work. I can sit here as long as I want and enjoy this beautiful spring day. One more cigarette and I was bored already.

Last Thursday night I walked past this pawnshop in Chinatown and saw a second hand Vestax(tm) mixer (the DJ'ing kind, not the baking kind) offered for $219. At the time I thought that was a good price and it would make a good upgrade to my DJ rig. Well since I was going to have to go through the city on my way home, I decided I was going to check out the pawnshop. When I got there, the Vestax was gone. I knew it was a good price.

When I got home I realised the personal trainers and joggers have inspired me to work on my fitness. Since I wasn't trapped at work, I have all the time to use the gym. In the end I decided that THAT was the purpose of my trip to Elizabeth Bay. Not to work, not to go on a date, not to buy a Vestax mixer, but to commit to looking after my body.

Just like any fine tool, this body that I have been gifted with needs deliberate maintenance to be able to perform the tasks that I demand of it: dancing, cooking, diving, snowboarding, acting, etc.

And guess what? This afternoon, I got a call from the agency for a gig on Monday. Apparently I'm doing a KFC commercial. On the one hand I am committing to fitness, and on the other I'm getting paid to promote deep fried Kentucky goodness. The universe is not out to get me, but the universe is filled with irony.

Crisis of Faith

I'm being given a reality check and it bounced. This blog is about my new and exciting journey into a new life, a new way of living, a great adventure. If this was a movie, this is montage part where I'm struggling to pursue my dreams and it's getting hard.

My landlord is selling my home and in all likelyhood I will be forced to move. No problem you say, just find another place. However, before I can find another place I have to lodge an application and when they see that I'm producing a payslip that doesn't even make the cost of the rent per week, it's a fair bet I won't be taken in as a tenant. Even worse if I apply for a mortgage to try and get off the rental treadmill.

For the first time since I left the I.T. industry I just checked the job ads for my I.T. skills. They're offering about $80K a year. Oh so so soooo tempting!

Is this what it boils down to: Be a dreamer and risk being homeless? Or give up the dream and have material security?

Is the cosmos sending me a message? Or is it putting me through a test of faith?