Tuesday, July 19, 2022

Canine Capers

 I'm fairly confident around dogs, I just feel that most dogs would learn to like me. I mean until I have established some sort of rapport with the animal I will treat them with caution and always with respect.

My job as a parcel delivery driver, I have encountered many many dogs of all sizes and temperaments.

Addresses with vicious dogs are well shared among all posties and drivers, just card them. Always. Then there are those dogs who get very territorial crashing against doors and windows while I'm trying to write a card (obviously if the owner was home, there will be a lot shushing and trying to calm down the animals).    I always heed  the sign on the gate that says "beware of dog" (some even have it in Italian -just to show they have culture "attenti al cani").

As a general rule I would call out "Parcel delivery! Is anybody home?"  before opening a gate, sign or no sign.  Usually, dogs would come running out barking as it's probably the most interesting thing to happen to their day. If there are no dogs, I enter, but maintain caution.  Just because there is no beware sign, is no guarantee there isn't any animal to beware of.  I keep an eye out for food or water bowls, or toys. 

In one of my deliveries while still a rookie, a greyhound came to the gate when I called out. He was friendly, sniffed me and let me pat him.  So I figured I'd be okay to drop off the package at the front porch so I opened the gate and let myself in being careful to keep the dog in the yard.  He was so excited he kept rearing up and put muddy pawprints all over my chest, I also realised how his mouth was level with my neck when he did that.   I was about five steps in when a second greyhound I  wasn't aware of arrived next to me like the velociraptor in Jurassic Park.  I froze and made a quick re-assessment of my situation.  I can handle one dog, but two dogs make a pack.  Discretion was the better part of valor so I walked slowly backwards and let myself out of the gate while pretending to play with the dogs.  At no time did the greyhounds bark throughout the whole encounter. The customers can go pick up this package at the post office.

Not long after, I started carrying dog treats with me.  If a dog was nice to me and responds to the "sit" command, they get a treat.  If the owner is present, I'll ask permission first and that usually wins over the human as well.   Sadly though, not all dogs accept bribes.  

A couple of months ago, a dog surprised me just as I finished taking a photo of the card I had jammed into the front door.  I was turning on my heels to step off the veranda, I had to change direction quickly to create distance between me and the dog. The edges were lined with potted plants so I dived over the plants into the garden floor below.  I still clutched the package in one arm so I couldn't put an arm out to break my fall. I tucked my chin against my chest planning to roll on impact. Oof! There was no roll, I landed on my side and had the wind knocked out of me. The dog was friendly and just wanted to say hi.  My ribs were sore for a few days. 

I do have a few favourites, there's Murphy in Hazelbrook who is is just always happy to see us and will be up for a sniff and a pat, maybe a neck rub. 

There's Banjo in Wentworth Falls who is sometimes wandering a few houses from his own and he comes up to me when I'm delivering to any of his neighbours. 

And of course there is Ratchet in Lawson.  When I first delivered to his house, he was lying on the front step trying to stay cool in the summer heat.  He heard me call out and silently ambled toward the gate. I realised he was old and his eyes were a little cloudy.  He let me pet him so I decided to enter through  the gate.  As soon as I closed the gate behind me, Ratchet rolled over and presented his belly.  I get it, it's a shakedown. You wanna deliver? It's gonna be a belly rub to get in and another one to get out.  

Today was another canine adventure.  Usual protocol: Call out.  Listen for barking. No barking.  Enter through the picket fence gate with a little picket archway.  About 10 meters in, another 20 meters to the front door, the backdoor swings open and the homeowner steps out. Okay cool.  Then a big white dog dashes through the backdoor, barking and headed for me. Another quick assessment of my situation. I can outrun this dog, it's only 10m to the gate, and I have a 20m headstart on him. I turn and dash for the gate. 5m to go and I could hear the barking dog closing in. I look over my shoulder and make a re-assessment of the situation: I won't have time to open the gate, I'm going to have to vault it parkour style. I planned out my strides, -left -right -one -two -three -four  /right foot on the wooden bench, -five / left foot on top of the gate  post, -six and-seven would land me outside the gate...  my right foot catches on the picket fence pointy tip and I fall head first outside.  Luckily this time I did roll and avoided injury.  The owner apologised for the dog chasing me, but I was too busy hysterically laughing because I didn't break my neck or crack my skull.