However, today was special. I was looking forward to working for Chef Krys, my unwitting mentor, my former teacher at cooking school, who also runs his own catering business. It has been a long time since the last shift he's tossed my way, I wonder if his style has changed much. I was also nervous because I had a bit of a drama two days ago.
Over the past week, I've been feeling what I diagnosed as a "stiff neck". So meh? What do ya do? I soldiered on, the damned thing will go away on its own time. Last Sunday morning I had the shocking experience of feeling my head unsupported by my neck muscles as I was descending down the stairs on some errand. Every signal my brain asked of my neck muscles to please do its job was met with sharp jolting pain. The kind that I visualise as tiny electric sparks every time I try to tell my neck muscles to contract and hold my fuckin' head up. As it turns out, I managed to wobble down the stairs like a circus performer balancing a pole on his head with a ball at the tip. As soon as I was on level ground I used my hand to prop up my neck and made my way to the sofa so I can sit down, All this time I'm giving Beatriz a running account of what was happening to me like some demented radio sports commentator. As soon as I was seated I started to lean back on the sofa so as to brace my head and neck against the cushion and try to make sense of what just happened.
After trying to move my head on all axis to determine range of motion, I rediscovered that stiff neck I had been ignoring for the last couple of days. I felt around my neck and shoulders and found a hard knot of muscles just above my right scapula. Fuck! Sunday was gonna be a busy day and how the fuck can we get all those jobs done when I'm supposed to be the muscle? Beatriz is still recovering from knee surgery and still uses a crutch to get around, yet all I could think of was I just need a neck brace and I can get back to work and soldier on. Patch me up and send me back into battle, Sarge! I had a little giggle imagining the two of us showing up to class with her on crutches and me in a neck brace -people might think Salsa dancing is too dangerous?
Of course, Beatriz talks some sense into me, I sat on the sofa for a while and considered other options besides a neck brace. That's when I thought "What about Tuesday, I can't cook with one hand supporting my neck! Shit! Damn, I may have to cancel my shift - where's my phone? Aha here it is. AAAAGhhh! What the fuck! The mere movement of picking up my phone and looking at it sent pain signals that took me by surprise, yet led me to the most amazingly obvious conclusion: The reason I have the stiff neck in the first place is due to smartphone neck .
Now that I know what it is, I can treat it like any muscle strain. Rest and ice. By nighttime, I discovered I cannot lie down in the normal way which is to sit on the bed and lie back until horizontal. I had to support my neck and crawl on all fours before dropping one side to roll on my back. Took it easy yesterday and found it easier to lie down last night so I'm feeling ready to work today.
Except for all the heavy labour, I didn't look forward to that. During the first hour we transported 2 heavy ovens, 2 gas burners, gas bottles, all the food, giant pots and trays, gastronomes, crockery, glasses and cutlery. Halfway through carting 4 crates of heavy plates I was ready to doubt if I can actually last the rest of the shift. I remembered to take my ibuprofen and soldiered on.
My first job was to tray up all the chicken breasts, then Chef Krys got me to set up the two gas stoves outside the kitchen to cook the desert sauce and the mushroom sauce. Yes, I can do this! There was a bit of a lull as we await the go ahead to start sending out 285 hot meals. I was at the head of one pass: first the mash is spooned onto the plate, chicken goes on top, green veg arranged next to it before I get to nap sauce onto the dish and make sure the plate is clean before letting the waiters whisk it away. I was responsible for half of every plate that hit the tables.
As the service was winding to a close, I'm not usually expecting some freebie left-overs for take home, although I have worked for other outfits that do not mind if staff take home left-overs. It was still a shock when I was told to just throw out so much left-overs. I do get it, Chef has already chosen which left-overs to take home and salvage, the rest is waste. He employs contract staff for functions like this, so if one staff gets to take home, then all the staff should be allowed. Not good business to employ staff to squabble about how much left over they are allowed to take home. I get it.
I shed a tear as I binned the surplus mushroom sauce and dessert sauce. To help me take the edge off this yucky feeling, I chose to celebrate something else I did today that was not wasteful. I helped a couple of the waiters splash the left over drinking water from the jugs into the gardens and lawn.
Yes, I suppose I can still say I'm a chef. Now get off your screen and save your neck for chrissakes!
