This was the 12th day I've been working since my last day off, one can say that my last day off was nearly two weeks ago. And I am exhausted. I am looking forward to the end of this shift because according to my roster for next week, I have no shifts.
What was up with that? I asked for three days off next week and I was given seven! The reaction from the other chefs around the kitchen was either envy (eg. I wish I would be given a week off) or incredulity (eg. That's not fair, how can you get so much time off when we're working our arses off?).
Let's say the kitchens aren't that busy, then it makes sense that you cut out the casual cook ie. me. But wouldn't it make more sense to spread the slack around by letting some of your stressed out chefs take an extra day off instead of letting one guy get the whole week off?
Now let's say the kitchens are busy, that's why everyone's been pulling really long hours. So maybe I am being punished for asking for time off. Maybe they are trying to starve me of shifts.
Just before I was about to clock off, the exec sous chef (the #2 guy after the exec chef) says he wants to have a brief chat. I thought great, I can find out what was happening with my roster. In the office he tells me that it's not working out between the hotel and me, that I have been in the hotel for 3 months and that I have not improved to the level that is needed. I was thinking, I've been here exactly 2 months, and that I was starting to get the hang of things, I didn't say this. I simply said that I'm sorry you feel that way. Then he asked me if I wanted some feedback, I said of course. He then proceeded to explain that I don't work quick enough and that I am unable to organise myself well enough for the job, and that the main issue is productivity. They need someone who can pump out the food quickly and efficiently and I am not at that required level.
I was devastated, but I tried to explain that I admit I was struggling in the early days, but was under the impression that I was starting to get the hang of it at least in the past month. He just shook his head and said that, he was sorry but he wasn't going to give me any more shifts, and that it would do them a big favour if I just resigned.
Whoah! Do them a favour by resigning? Then I started to twig the political and procedural implications of me quitting the job. I've worked in a large corporationn before and I know that paperwork is a killer, particular when it came to terminating an employee. If I resigned, then the paperwork for him would be minimal, he could just write up that I wanted to leave and that was that. But if I refused to resign, he would have to write up a reason for terminating my employment, something that would hold up under scrutiny if I decided to make an issue of it.
In hindsight, perhaps the reason I was put on for twelve straight days is so that I can be setup for failure and the exec sous chef can use that as a reason to dismiss me.
Then he asked me what I was going to do now, would I continue being a chef or would I revert to my old profession? The way he said it made me feel like he was certain that he had broken me, that I was not cut out for this work, that maybe I should go back to the cubicle I crawled out from. I felt challenged. At that moment I decided I was going to be a chef even more.
I said good bye to him, shook his hand, and made no promises about resigning. But instead of clocking out, I headed to the banquet kitchen where I was working in earlier today and ask if they need any additional help maybe cleaning up. I spoke with a demi chef and a chef de partie and told them what just happened, they were sympathetic and suggested maybe I should take it up to human resources. I thanked them and told them I'd check my employment contract and see if I have a leg to stand on.
When I finished, another sous chef was on the floor so I said good night to him too, I expected a goodbye-forever handshake, I was expecting it, but all I got was a warm handshake and a thank you for my help today. Oh my god, he had no idea that the exec sous chef had already let me go. The exec sous chef had made that decision to cut me loose on his own -likely sanctioned by the exec chef, but the rest of the sous chefs didn't know.
I spoke to another junior chef and he was surprised as well, we both agreed I was the slowest chef in the kitchen, but it wasn't bad enough to be sacked for. Unfortunately, his opinion doesn't count, only the exec chef and the exec sous.
I've decided that I will take my week off and enjoy it. I have another month on my probationary period with the Sheraton, even if I never get another shift, I will not resign. For as long as I am on their books as a casual cook, there is a chance that one of the other sous chefs will find themselves in a bind and resort to calling me in to work. All it takes is one or two other chefs to call in sick and one of the sous chefs may get desperate enough to countermand the exec sous. I'm sure there is a lot of politics between the sous chefs and I am making myself available as a pawn to be used in their game. All I care about is to last the three months of my probationary period, it would look better in my resume.
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