Mocha

 So coffee is awesome.
Chocolate is awesome.
And they had a baby together -Mocha.

It's chocolate with a kick,
It's coffee but mellow, -Mocha.

It's great when hot,
kinda okay when gone cold, -Mocha.

I just pulled off a Dawn-till-Dusk today.  Not for lack of trying, it was the best I could do.  I misdelivered on a parallel street -I had to go retrieve it and correctly redeliver.  Five occasions I had to invoke the "if you can't find the parcel in 5 minutes -move on to the next delivery, you'll find it when van is empty."  

The highlight was a daily (an address that gets a parcel or more every single day).  Lately the parcels have been accumulating and the front porch is overflowing with unopened Spotlight, Amazon, and Temu packs. I dreaded going there just to add to the pile.  But just as I was pulling up, there were cops at the front.  I stopped and asked the constable if there was trouble?  She asked if I was the postie that was there this morning, I said no but I delivered there yesterday.  Then she said that the resident was deceased, she won't be needing any parcels. I said that I don't think we have that as a select option in the REASON FOR FAILED DELIVERY.

So I took a breath.  Restarted the van and reframed the situation: Looks like two less parcels to deliver today, let's move on to the next address on the runsheet.  The weather was nice today.

Also today I had a chat with a childhood friend over voicelink.  I always admired his physical agility, strength and general physicality as we played as wild crazy boys. We'd be playing basketball or sipa , marbles, chess, table tennis, fencing with sticks, flicking tansan at each other like shuriken, running, biking, all of it until we grew up and went our separate ways. The beauty of voice (no video) is that the image of him I use in my head is of our youth -I would guess because we spent so little time with each other as adults my mind was biased.  It was great to reconnect. 

Then I got confirmation I have Daddy-Daughter date with number One next weekend. Life's great. 

I've already prepped banana and dark chocolate mocha muffins for tomorrow.

Help All Delivery Drivers

It's in your best interest, if you would like as expedient a service as you can get. 

Let me explain.  So you're expecting a parcel.  Your parcel has made it through the system and arrives that morning at the depot for someone like me to load into our van and deliver today.  TODAY.

Where is that damn house?

We get to your parcel and we are looking for the address.  Google Maps says it's here, but we can't find it.  There is no contact number to call. We ask around. We call our supervisor.  With regret we scan the item as FAIL DELIVERY - no such address / incorrect address.  It comes back to the depot the next day.

Sometimes though, a delivery gets failed too because of some issues, which YOU as a customer can help fix.  Here's what I suggest based on what I have encountered as a deliverer of 1 year's experience.

1. Make sure your house number is easily visible from the street.
2. Make sure the numbers are NOT the same colour as the background.
3. Make sure the numbers are not obscured by foliage.
4. Make sure the numbers are L A R G E enough to be easily visible.
5. Make sure the fonts are not confusing (eg. is that '1b' or '16') or missing digits.

 

Anybody home?

Sometimes, we are delivering your parcel and we require a signature.  It means if no one is there to sign for it, you will get a SORRY-WE-MISSED-YOU card and you can collect it at the post office.  You could have had your parcel TODAY.

A lot of people complain that they were home and that the delivery driver was just too lazy.  Although I cannot vouch for anyone but myself, I will say that I have been earnest in all my deliveries.  I will be announcing myself as I approach your gate or front door.  

"Good morning. Australia Post parcel delivery.  Anybody home?"

I will ring your bell or knock and repeat my announcement. 

I will listen for 10 seconds.  This is crucial.  To save time, I'm pulling out a card and my pen. I start writing the date and time of pickup at the post office.  If the resident answers at this point, I can still reuse the card.  I write down the name and barcode digits.  If the resident answers now, the card is trash. I fold and stick the card in the door gap, take a photo and take the parcel back to the van.  

If you hear us knocking, do let us know you are home.  A simple "Yes" or "please wait" is sufficient. We will wait for you.  We won't start writing a card that would have been wasted.  If you received a card from me, it's because you weren't home or you ignored me.   Yes, there have been a couple of occasions people have been home and couldn't be bothered to answer the door.  I wrote those two cards with a vengeance for wasting my time, because I still had a loaded van idling. 

Nice Doggy

Sometimes just the sound of my diesel engines is enough to set off a barkfest in the neighbourhood.  Although mostly, dogs wait until I announce myself at the gate or the door, and then start their vigorous declarations of "Don't you dare come into my territory!".  Not a problem if the parcel fits in your letter box or a reasonably safe and secure place to leave it like a crate, shelf, garage or alcove.  Otherwise you get a card and I record "unsecured dog" as the reason.  

There are a few addresses I like to deliver because of a particularly friendly dog.  One of them demands payment in belly rubs for entering, delivering, and leaving the premises. Most other friendly dogs are merely susceptible to my secret stash of dog treats in my cargo pants.

Obstacle Course

Because the mountains are still semi-rural, there is quite a number of relatively remote properties we deliver to.  These "roads" give me the same thrill as any 4wd enthusiast, except I'm driving a high centre of balance loaded van with two-wheel drive, thank goodness for diesel torque.  But not much YOU as the customer can do as this is something for the local government and roads authority to sort out. 

 

What you can do is make it easier for us to get to your front door once we found your address.  

Is the path overgrown? You can give it a trim, especially when you're expecting a package.

Are the steps slippery? Dangerous?  We can leave a card with "Safety issue" as the reason.

Is your front door not actually at the front?  Leave us plenty of clues, we enjoy playing stupid detective. A note would be your best bet,  our detecting abilities get weaker as we get tired from all those 30kg packages of pet products we had to lug that day.

Oh god, you all just turned me into delivery Karen.   Aaaaaghhh!

A year collecting data

Last year I was curious about how I was performing as a delivery driver.  I decided to collect data and measure what I can.  I made a spreadsheet and so far some interesting charts.

Only logical, the farther I have to travel in between deliveries the longer it takes.

And subsequently, the more parcels there are the longer it takes to sequence and load.

 minutes per item

parcels per km

sort sequence and load time 

Next time, I might drill down one level and see if there is a correlation between specific runs and parcel density.

Everything Everywhere All at Once Forever

 SPOILER ALERT

If you haven't seen the movie and don't want spoilers, stop now. 

Come back after.

We'll be right here waiting.

Okay, so either you've seen it or don't care.

This movie connected with me in so many layers, notwithstanding that I am exactly at Evelyn's crossroads.  I am minutely aware that all my choices have led me into this exact moment.  The challenge is to be present in that moment whether it be overwhelming or dreadful. 

I have moments of daydreaming, nostalgically cherry-picking moments in my life where a different choice would have led to a vastly different existence.  Take for example the time I professed my love for the very first time in my life, it was the scariest thing I had ever done in my entire life thus far. Do I win her or do I lose her? I imagined a life ahead that we shared side-by-side, it all hung in the balance. In another universe perhaps that led to a completely different outcome, then fast-forward four decades and imagine how both versions of me would feel about each other's choices? Both of them equipped with the same decades of memories of struggle, triumph, crisis, and mediocrity.

Personally, I love the mundane moments most of all. All the shit that I complained about in my 30s, turns out to be the kind of things I now associate with my happy place.  Like driving to the city twice a day to drop off and collect my wife at her workplace.  I was mostly alone in the car, listening to radio or playing cassettes.  Not unlike my current job delivering parcels.

I've started and abandoned many hobbies, just like Evelyn.  Some of them I occasionally practice like Karate-do and Aikido. Some of them I have turned pro, like cooking and dancing. However, just like Waymond (such an adowable name), I have finally understood the supreme importance of kindness. 

This movie resonates with me in ways so deep. I felt the disappointment of my father and judgement when I made choices he disagreed with.  I wore the same wardrobe in the eighties and nineties. I also dragged my wife and child to start life in a new country, in part because I wanted to prove to my father he was wrong and I was right.  But most of all I remember a moment too when I looked at the endless circle track that I was carving in time-space.  Telling my daughter how to do better as an adult when I wasn't at all sure I had done any better than what my own parents had hoped for. 

I have daydreamed of many versions of myself where I was a warrior, a sailor, an explorer.  These other versions of me I have tried to access, not with paper cuts or butt-plugs, but by actually trying them out. Like when I learned to fly a plane. I once wondered what my life would be like if I pursued my childhood dream to become a pilot.  I've flown enough hours that I'm desperately confident that I can land a single-engine light plane in an emergency.

I've also lived long enough to know that it takes time, a lot of time to get good at anything.  So even if I fall in love with a new hobby, there are even chances that I may stick with it or drop it once I have reached a minimum level of proficiency.  In terms of the movies, that's why they go through great twisted lengths to explain how anyone can just instantaneously learn to fight like a ninja at a convenient plot point.  Because we all inherently know how long it takes to master anything from chess to surfing.

I like to believe there are an infinite versions of me coexisting in infinite universes.  There are universes where I am an actor, dancer, writer, explorer, warrior, teacher, etc.

What if I take this idea much further.  

What about the other people in the universe we all share? So a new universe just split off when I wrote an entire paragraph and decided to delete it all, but what if someone random decides to call in a sickie instead of going to work, which version of me would be in that universe?  

Let me tell you what I am beginning to feel, and it sounds very much explained in The Egg

We practice kindness because everyone else is really us.  We are all connected.  Like leaves from the giant tree of the multiverse, each life in a tangled chain is one Being on an infinite loop of variations and recombinations (Jeremy Beremy?).  

You and I are the same person at various points of our eternal experience.

Aloha. 

I love you too.

Canine Capers

 I'm fairly confident around dogs, I just feel that most dogs would learn to like me. I mean until I have established some sort of rapport with the animal I will treat them with caution and always with respect.

My job as a parcel delivery driver, I have encountered many many dogs of all sizes and temperaments.

Addresses with vicious dogs are well shared among all posties and drivers, just card them. Always. Then there are those dogs who get very territorial crashing against doors and windows while I'm trying to write a card (obviously if the owner was home, there will be a lot shushing and trying to calm down the animals).    I always heed  the sign on the gate that says "beware of dog" (some even have it in Italian -just to show they have culture "attenti al cani").

As a general rule I would call out "Parcel delivery! Is anybody home?"  before opening a gate, sign or no sign.  Usually, dogs would come running out barking as it's probably the most interesting thing to happen to their day. If there are no dogs, I enter, but maintain caution.  Just because there is no beware sign, is no guarantee there isn't any animal to beware of.  I keep an eye out for food or water bowls, or toys. 

In one of my deliveries while still a rookie, a greyhound came to the gate when I called out. He was friendly, sniffed me and let me pat him.  So I figured I'd be okay to drop off the package at the front porch so I opened the gate and let myself in being careful to keep the dog in the yard.  He was so excited he kept rearing up and put muddy pawprints all over my chest, I also realised how his mouth was level with my neck when he did that.   I was about five steps in when a second greyhound I  wasn't aware of arrived next to me like the velociraptor in Jurassic Park.  I froze and made a quick re-assessment of my situation.  I can handle one dog, but two dogs make a pack.  Discretion was the better part of valor so I walked slowly backwards and let myself out of the gate while pretending to play with the dogs.  At no time did the greyhounds bark throughout the whole encounter. The customers can go pick up this package at the post office.

Not long after, I started carrying dog treats with me.  If a dog was nice to me and responds to the "sit" command, they get a treat.  If the owner is present, I'll ask permission first and that usually wins over the human as well.   Sadly though, not all dogs accept bribes.  

A couple of months ago, a dog surprised me just as I finished taking a photo of the card I had jammed into the front door.  I was turning on my heels to step off the veranda, I had to change direction quickly to create distance between me and the dog. The edges were lined with potted plants so I dived over the plants into the garden floor below.  I still clutched the package in one arm so I couldn't put an arm out to break my fall. I tucked my chin against my chest planning to roll on impact. Oof! There was no roll, I landed on my side and had the wind knocked out of me. The dog was friendly and just wanted to say hi.  My ribs were sore for a few days. 

I do have a few favourites, there's Murphy in Hazelbrook who is is just always happy to see us and will be up for a sniff and a pat, maybe a neck rub. 

There's Banjo in Wentworth Falls who is sometimes wandering a few houses from his own and he comes up to me when I'm delivering to any of his neighbours. 

And of course there is Ratchet in Lawson.  When I first delivered to his house, he was lying on the front step trying to stay cool in the summer heat.  He heard me call out and silently ambled toward the gate. I realised he was old and his eyes were a little cloudy.  He let me pet him so I decided to enter through  the gate.  As soon as I closed the gate behind me, Ratchet rolled over and presented his belly.  I get it, it's a shakedown. You wanna deliver? It's gonna be a belly rub to get in and another one to get out.  

Today was another canine adventure.  Usual protocol: Call out.  Listen for barking. No barking.  Enter through the picket fence gate with a little picket archway.  About 10 meters in, another 20 meters to the front door, the backdoor swings open and the homeowner steps out. Okay cool.  Then a big white dog dashes through the backdoor, barking and headed for me. Another quick assessment of my situation. I can outrun this dog, it's only 10m to the gate, and I have a 20m headstart on him. I turn and dash for the gate. 5m to go and I could hear the barking dog closing in. I look over my shoulder and make a re-assessment of the situation: I won't have time to open the gate, I'm going to have to vault it parkour style. I planned out my strides, -left -right -one -two -three -four  /right foot on the wooden bench, -five / left foot on top of the gate  post, -six and-seven would land me outside the gate...  my right foot catches on the picket fence pointy tip and I fall head first outside.  Luckily this time I did roll and avoided injury.  The owner apologised for the dog chasing me, but I was too busy hysterically laughing because I didn't break my neck or crack my skull.  

Chasing my next dream

 When I first settled in the mountains, I had in the back of my mind a desire, a dream to have a salsa dance community in the community I'm in. Well then that led to the next thought which is why don't I teach classes? Well it was difficult to find my feet since I just started a new job as a chef instructor.  Also the rosters were quite unpredictable -I never new until 3 weeks before that I have to do dinner shifts on one or more nights.  And then the pandemic happened.

Fast forward to now and I have a great job that leaves my weekends and my evenings available to -do what I want.  Right now I want to dance. I want to share my passion for dance.  I want to build a salsa dance community in my community!  

And I will need anybody and everybody to help. That's kind of the point.

It might take a while.

That's okay.

Parcel Delivery Driver 1.0

 I love analysing processes and finding opportunities for improvement.  Back in the 90s there  was a "quality improvement" revolution in the corporate world.  These days you'd probably know it by the buzzword Six Sigma. So anyway, here I am now with a process job.  Because I think it is fun and I cannot resist myself, I try to analyse my tasks in terms of a work algorithm.  Basically how would I program an android to do my job.  

Before we get into it, allow me to walk you through what actually happens on my typical day as soon as I arrive at work:

Sorting

Before I even get there, trucks from the Eastern Creek hub would be arriving at the depot from 3AM to drop off all the mail and parcels for the Blue Mountains area. 

Forklift operators would pull out cage pallets from the trucks and deposit them into the bull pen. 

Workers in the bull pen would swarm each new cage, sort the parcels into the correct run cage.  By the time I get there at 6AM, most of the parcels have already been sorted.  My supervisor would tell me which run I am doing and give me my assigned cage.  That means all the packages that I will be delivering today is in this one cage (sometimes two on a busy day).

I would start pulling out each parcel and writing down the street number on my run sheet.  The run sheet is a tabulated list, with street names on each row, and I read and copy the address numbers of each package I pull out.  As I place each one on the floor, I try to arrange the packages in the same order of the streets on my run sheet. The idea is that I would load the packages into the van in reverse order, so that the last package I will deliver is at the very back of the van, while the first package is right next to the door.  This means I will spend less time rummaging through the van to find a parcel when I get to the address.

Scanning and Loading 

After I have emptied the cage and written down every address number on my run sheet, I have to scan the barcodes on each parcel. This tells the system that the package is loaded into my van and will be delivered today, sometimes the customer gets an email or text message triggered by the scan.

Then it's time to load the van.  I like to think of it as 3D tetris with extra objectives:

• trying to stack the packages so that they fit snuggly 

• trying not to crush the flimsy packages with heavier ones 

• allow me to see the labels to quickly find any package 

• keep packages for the same street together to make it easier to search

Delivering

 Drive to the first street on the list and stop at the first address.  Find the parcel, scan the parcel, drop off the parcel, take a geo-tagged photo, submit and cross off the address on my run sheet.  Go to the next address, repeat until van is empty.

Most of the deliveries are called safe-drops where we can leave it even if no one is home. However some packages require a signature, and that takes extra time because we have to wait for someone to answer the door.  And if there is no one to sign for it, I have to fill out a sorry-we-missed-you card, stick it in the door jamb and take the parcel back to the post office for self-collection.  

On a good day, everyone gets their parcels and I go home after the last delivery.  Unfortunately, most days I have to clock off only after I've dropped off the carded parcels at the local post office.

The best part is that after I clock off, there is no more mental residue from work that I take home with me. 

When I am done for the day, I am done for the day.  

Tomorrow is another cage, tomorrow is another run.