Cogito Ego Sum

That's not a typo, I meant to use ego as in I just discovered I have an ego issue. One of the chefs made a remark about "What? Big egos in the kitchen? Really?"  the irony clear. Oh but wait, that includes me? Who me? I don't have a big ego.  I mean, I write a blog in the naive hope that someday others would be interested in my unfolding auto-biography. Ok. Message received.

So what do I do about it? How do I express this ego in the kitchen? I have been taking great pride in always trying to put the best menu I am capable of. I take ownership of it. And there it is, the limiting belief.

Under the guise of taking ownership, I avoid burdening the other chefs with prep for my menu. I'm happy to help my fellow chefs but I am fain to ask let alone rely on them to do my prep for me. I've been utterly selfish and prideful. I made it about me.

SO how do I get out of this? Well, I need to trust the team and comfortably lean on each other for support because the more we synchronise as a team, the better and braver our menus will be. And that is how we achieve 40% of our collective objective - to uplift our students' dining experience.  There is no star chef because we are all star chefs.

What was that about ego again?

Living the Dream

That is the catch phrase of  Chef O, every time someone asks him how he is doing. I must admit that in the middle of all this upheaval (or maybe we should refer to it as a downheaval) I find myself  subscribing to that catch phrase.  I'm living my dream of working as a chef. Not only that but also starting to enjoy work and everyone I work with.  I can actually now look forward to working with these guys with anticipation and not so much anxiety. Anxiety born of my insecurity at not having as much experience as all of my colleagues even though I'm older than all of them. I'm so used to being the youngest in a group when I was teaching seniors, that it feels conflicting that I can be the most inexperienced and yet the oldest in the kitchen department.

I have been trying to taste all of the food that all the other chefs knock up mostly to learn what it is that they think the students enjoy, but also to understand the standard that I must deliver to. Last year I experienced a brief honeymoon with the students, where some would go out of their way to thank me for the tasty food. I modestly put that down as due to being the new chef, they just got used to all the other chefs that it was great to try something new.

I was also modestly disappointed that I did not experience that positive feedback the following term. Perhaps, it really was just a new chef honeymoon and the honeymoon was over. What if I am an impostor trying to pass myself off as a chef?

Well tonight was crazy. Fridays are traditionally slow easy nights as not many bother to come out to buffet. Instead we got hammered. We had plenty of food but we were struggling just to keep up with the continuous flow of diners for the entire 60 minutes of service.  Wait what?  Who gets slammed on a Friday night? Nobody.  Except maybe the impostor mwahahahaha.

Easter Memories

Just for the record, Easter of 2020 was strange the world over and for all of us deeply personally strange. Some of us have built traditions around Easter eg. going away, attending religious ceremonies,music, festivals camping, BBQs, egg hunts, etc.  And for the first time, an annual excuse to get together with loved ones had been banned. Social distancing has become social isolation.

My Picasa on Google keeps remionding me of "this time two years ago (or five) and of course it was always one of the above.  I felt sadness for all the people who have been hanging out for the Easter break, only to have their plans cancelled on account of it being deemed non-essential travel. It has come to this, if I am stopped on the road, I have to provide a legitimate reason for being out and about. Just out for a drive doesn't cut it. Buying medicine and groceries is legit. Excercise is legit, leisure is not.

I look back on my camera roll and realised that I had missed the point of the Easter celebrations. For Christians, it is the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, however this has even deeper roots where earlier religions have celebrated the time of spring as a rebirth, a return to life after the barren winter, also a celebration of fertility and growth. 

Spring signals a renewal of the environment.  I kind of missed that because we are at the opposite of spring right now. The leaves are turning and the days are shortening. Mother nature is making ready for her winter break.  The woods are beautiful, and my damn girls are complaining and asking if it was time to turn around and walk home.

End of the World

In every apocalypse movie there is always this montage of news footage of growing panic and unravelling of civil control. I seem to be watching this montage now in real time.  I feel a growing sense of panic that our government is not acting boldly enough and timely enough to save our lives. When we all come through this at the other end, we will remember the leaders that have put the value of the economy over human lives.

Please, save people first, we can fix the economy afterwards.

I am fortunate that I am still working as a chef, over at Hogwarts.  We still have over 200 students in residence and they have to be nourished through this crisis. Our student's  dining experience has changed so much in only seven days.

This time last week, they can wake up, walk over to the Hotel Buffet and eat a leisurely breakfast of everything from fresh fruit, smoothies, bacon, eggs, sausages, hash browns, congee, noodles, miso, etc. For lunch and dinner they have the choice of the Campus Buffet or the Fine Dining (must book in).

By Monday, no longer were students allowed at the Hotel Buffet to reduce their risk of contact with travelling hotel guests. Instead they get a 'breakfast ration'  consisting of milk, cereal, fruit cup, chocolate powder mix, coffe, tea, sugar, disposable utensils. Later we added bread, jams, vegemite, peanut butter, muesli bars, cheese and crackers. We kinda got reminded how much teenagers really eat.  I remember being one and raising one so yeah I get it.

Also the Campus Buffet dining area was expanded to include classrooms upstairs and seating was designed to encourage social distancing. The Fine Dining seating was reduced to 2 pax per table for the same reason.

By Wednesday evening, all food was being served on take-away containers to be taken back to their rooms. Fine Dining is closed.  The queue for the food is marked out on X's on the floor to ensure compliance with social distancing. On the plus side, the staff have posted 'suggested dance moves' along the queue, and it provides a welcome distraction from how far off the normal life has become in the time of COVID-19.

I am grateful to be working at a place where the leadership's response to this emergency is both decisive and swift. Why can't our political leaders do that?

Moving Monday

Everything was set up for the move. My boss juggled my roster so I get the day off; I had Sol and his van booked, except I underestimated traffic and was late signing the lease and getting the keys.  The reason for the traffic was also that the Australian bushfire crisis was escalating two days before Christmas.  In fact, as I drove up to my new home, the fire volunteers were busy unpacking the community fire fighting trailer stationed at my street. Here I was moving in with my furniture and stuff yet there was a real possibility I could be asked to evacuate at any moment.  We were so busy unloading, but there was a part of me that wanted to watch the helicopters water bombing just 250 metres away.

Fortunately, my good friend Sol was a true legend and he helped me accomplish everything and finish by 3PM.  In my entire life I have not had a plan that went as well or better than this move and Sol was the power piece that made it all possible. Gracias hermano.

I made it a point to sleep in my new home that night.

Four Weeks In

I am humbled and awed by the experience and skill of the chefs that I work with. I have total respect for their ability to think and plan a week ahead, I'm still struggling getting ahead by three days and I'm slowly getting there.  On the plus side I find I'm enjoying myself more than I'm stressing out about putting on the best buffet menu that I can muster.  At the moment my stress points is being able to present all the dishes by 5pm, and hopefully have made enough chicken to last until 6:30pm when the buffet closes.  The former happened once, the latter more than once.  The students try to keep me upbeat by saying it's because the students enjoy the food, so we run out. It's my fault for making it too tasty, apparently.

At my last service, I had so much fun with my students.  As suggested by Chef iN, I got one of them to make the crumbed fish and earned the right to put her name on the dish. Then I got another two students to cook the noodles on the large wok. The other students all wanted that job after they've seen them doing it. I also gave myself an extra challenge of putting up an extra chicken dish and an extra vegetarian dish (all using left over prep). I was even cheeky enough to leave in the middle of service to visit the other kitchen just to show myself that I could. 

Earlier that day, I also found a place to live in the mountains. I had lodged an application with the agents and I could potentially move in as early as next weekend.  Let's see what happens and watch the universe unfold.

First Service Done

Got up this morning and caught the sunrise at Sublime Point. Got in early to prep for my Filipino / Southeast Asian menu:

Jasmin Rice and Wild Rice

Chopsuey Vegetables

Lemon Grass Pork with Atchara

Chicken Adobo Thigh Fillets

Ginger and Shallot Steamed Fish

I also had to prep three things for tomorrow night's menu:

Felafel

Lamb Kofta

Mint Yoghurt

Peri Peri Chicken

Already the first problem was there was no ready-made peri-peri sauce in the dry store, so plan B was to make my own.  Then beautiful Chef Matt jumped in to help, he butterflied the birds and marinated them for me. He also made the mint yoghurt dressing for tonight, which had the remarkable effect of reducing my stress for tomorrow and today.

Then Chef iN and gave me two students to roll the felafel balls. I needed to get these in the freezer today to be ready to deep fry for tomorrow. That's another item off my task list. Later again, Chef iN advised me that they are chopping my vegetables for chopsuey. That was another huge load off my list.

Over the course of the day, I was learning how best to use the student labour to get things off my task list. It turns out, not all students are reliable, I've been caught out by a student just leaving trays out after having been told to put them in the hotbox. I'm willing to take the fault for this, I wasn't explicit with my instructions, and I have to remember I'm working with teenagers.

I was also caught out by a stove blowing out while I'm trying to cook my sauce, no wonder it wouldn't boil, grrrr.  Chef Ls came in at the start of my service to hold my hand show me the rookie pitfalls and helped me fix them. I had a great Sous with one of the senior students, she helped me keep the service on track and also managed the team of junior students.  All in all, I can't take credit for tonight, it was a team effort. I'm finally learning to embrace team collaboration. 

I'm all set for tomorrow.  I've got my menus set for Monday and Tuesday as well.  Unlike working agency jobs,  I'm enjoying coming up with my own menus and cook what I like to eat. 

Bring on the weekend.

ps. The fish was a surprise hit with the kids.