Carbon and Oxygen Orgies

Otherwise known as fire.  Having a functioning fireplace has been an aspirational fantasy of mine since I was young. Back then the closest thing to cold climate I could travel to was Baguio or Tagaytay. The places we stayed at featured fireplaces but it just wasn't "cold enough" to be worth the bother of making a fire.  Well? It's middle of winter in the Blue Mountains, let's fire it up!

It's my third winter with a fireplace now so I've tried all sorts of ways to start fires and sustain fires. Some work better than others, there are many abandoned methods once I find  better ones.

What I have distilled it down to is a complex understanding of chemistry, physics, biology, electro-magnetic radiation, bernoulli, venturi, laminar and turbulent flows  -it's a fucking rabbit hole. 

The simple equation is 

FUEL + OXYGEN + HEAT = FIRE.  

In my specific use case that would be

WOOD + AIR + HEAT = FIRE

What do we mean by HEAT?  Specifically the temperature identified as the kindling point of the material ie. fuel.  Rubbing your hands together can get warm but not enough to set fire to anything, we need a match or a lighter.  These are good for lighting birthday candles, gas barbecues, or joints. However, holding a lighter under a log is not going to do anything. You need a big fire to start a big fire. What keeps this from becoming a Catch-22 is that it is possible to turn a small fire into a big fire. All it needs is a gradual or stepped increase in the supply of fuel. The best part is that the initial burn increases the heat energy which allows the consumption of more fuel which then burns and makes more heat.  When you understand this, it gets scary watching bushfires or building fires.  

It's hard to control fire once it's got away.  From this perspective, I can imagine fire as an energy being we humans somehow domesticated. We can spawn these beings at will to serve our needs, whether it is to drive a steam train, or candle-light to read by.  

I've decided to name each fire that I ignite at my fireplace.  Fire "Steve" was born late last night. I made a thin bed twigs for a base.  I covered it with  shredded and crumpled newspaper. I held it down with chunks of charcoal left over from the previous fire (thanks fire "Bernard" 21-24 July 2023). I then layer more twigs over the top making sure to use the skinniest twigs first and saving the thicker branches for later. At this stage no twigs are thicker than my finger. Using a lighter I ignited random corners of newspaper that I could get to.  Soon all the newspaper was alight.  This flareup in turn ignites the layer of tiny twigs, which then ignites the layer above.  As the fire grows I add more and bigger sticks of wood.  The fire gets fed bigger fuel as soon as the energy is sufficient to ignite larger and larger pieces of wood.  If I do this well, I can get the fire to the stage I call the "log-eater", that's when I know that the fire is hot enough it will consume a new log as soon as there's room to chuck one in.   

I thought that we could express the formula as

CARBON + OXYGEN + HEAT = MORE HEAT + CARBON DIOXIDE + CARBON 

In this context I imagine CARBON atoms are solid particles that tend to form crystalline structures like diamonds and coal or cellulose (wood). 

I imagine OXYGEN as a gas particle always looking for something to react with, even if it's just another OXYGEN atom (O2 and Ozone wave hello to everyone).  Reaction can take a long time like rust (Fe + O), or rapid burn (C+O2). OXYGEN is a promiscuous reactant but is surprisingly faithful when attached to a pair of HYDROGEN (H2O). 

So CARBON is like "the catch" and OXYGEN are like "the suitors". 

OXYGEN: Hey you, want to become one with me ?

CARBON: Can't you see I'm an integral part of this structure?

OXYGEN: Can you feel the excitement?  I'm ready to bond.  Come on. 

CARBON: Oh wait it is getting hot in here, but I'm not sure I'm ready to leave my crystal.

OXYGEN: OH it's really hot now, come on you can have two of us even!

CARBON: OH my YES! Let's. 

For a brief moment ,they have the craziest union particles can have and release electro-magnetic radiation in the form of heat(infra-red)  and light (visible spectrum).  The exhausted combined particles of CARBON DIOXIDE (CO2) float away as smoke taking some heat along with it.  I picture CARBON with an OXYGEN on each arm stumbling out of the club.  

I tried my best to not ascribe specific gender types in my analogy, if it upsets you, try reversing the gender assignment and see if that works better.  Or you can just imagine it all as just one gender. 

What then blew my mind was that plants use the CO2 to make food by photosynthesis. Using the electromagnetic energy of the sun to process H2O and CO2 to form carbohydrates and releasing O2 back. 

Throughout the life of fire "Steve"  he may need to be re-kindled, like when left overnight and is on embers.  A few twigs and kindling and "Steve" is ready to be raised to log-eater status.  On occasion I may leave it for too long and need to resuscitate.  

Eventually though, all fires must die.  When that happens, Steve's remains will be used to help birth the next fire.   

Mocha

 So coffee is awesome.
Chocolate is awesome.
And they had a baby together -Mocha.

It's chocolate with a kick,
It's coffee but mellow, -Mocha.

It's great when hot,
kinda okay when gone cold, -Mocha.

I just pulled off a Dawn-till-Dusk today.  Not for lack of trying, it was the best I could do.  I misdelivered on a parallel street -I had to go retrieve it and correctly redeliver.  Five occasions I had to invoke the "if you can't find the parcel in 5 minutes -move on to the next delivery, you'll find it when van is empty."  

The highlight was a daily (an address that gets a parcel or more every single day).  Lately the parcels have been accumulating and the front porch is overflowing with unopened Spotlight, Amazon, and Temu packs. I dreaded going there just to add to the pile.  But just as I was pulling up, there were cops at the front.  I stopped and asked the constable if there was trouble?  She asked if I was the postie that was there this morning, I said no but I delivered there yesterday.  Then she said that the resident was deceased, she won't be needing any parcels. I said that I don't think we have that as a select option in the REASON FOR FAILED DELIVERY.

So I took a breath.  Restarted the van and reframed the situation: Looks like two less parcels to deliver today, let's move on to the next address on the runsheet.  The weather was nice today.

Also today I had a chat with a childhood friend over voicelink.  I always admired his physical agility, strength and general physicality as we played as wild crazy boys. We'd be playing basketball or sipa , marbles, chess, table tennis, fencing with sticks, flicking tansan at each other like shuriken, running, biking, all of it until we grew up and went our separate ways. The beauty of voice (no video) is that the image of him I use in my head is of our youth -I would guess because we spent so little time with each other as adults my mind was biased.  It was great to reconnect. 

Then I got confirmation I have Daddy-Daughter date with number One next weekend. Life's great. 

I've already prepped banana and dark chocolate mocha muffins for tomorrow.

Help All Delivery Drivers

It's in your best interest, if you would like as expedient a service as you can get. 

Let me explain.  So you're expecting a parcel.  Your parcel has made it through the system and arrives that morning at the depot for someone like me to load into our van and deliver today.  TODAY.

Where is that damn house?

We get to your parcel and we are looking for the address.  Google Maps says it's here, but we can't find it.  There is no contact number to call. We ask around. We call our supervisor.  With regret we scan the item as FAIL DELIVERY - no such address / incorrect address.  It comes back to the depot the next day.

Sometimes though, a delivery gets failed too because of some issues, which YOU as a customer can help fix.  Here's what I suggest based on what I have encountered as a deliverer of 1 year's experience.

1. Make sure your house number is easily visible from the street.
2. Make sure the numbers are NOT the same colour as the background.
3. Make sure the numbers are not obscured by foliage.
4. Make sure the numbers are L A R G E enough to be easily visible.
5. Make sure the fonts are not confusing (eg. is that '1b' or '16') or missing digits.

 

Anybody home?

Sometimes, we are delivering your parcel and we require a signature.  It means if no one is there to sign for it, you will get a SORRY-WE-MISSED-YOU card and you can collect it at the post office.  You could have had your parcel TODAY.

A lot of people complain that they were home and that the delivery driver was just too lazy.  Although I cannot vouch for anyone but myself, I will say that I have been earnest in all my deliveries.  I will be announcing myself as I approach your gate or front door.  

"Good morning. Australia Post parcel delivery.  Anybody home?"

I will ring your bell or knock and repeat my announcement. 

I will listen for 10 seconds.  This is crucial.  To save time, I'm pulling out a card and my pen. I start writing the date and time of pickup at the post office.  If the resident answers at this point, I can still reuse the card.  I write down the name and barcode digits.  If the resident answers now, the card is trash. I fold and stick the card in the door gap, take a photo and take the parcel back to the van.  

If you hear us knocking, do let us know you are home.  A simple "Yes" or "please wait" is sufficient. We will wait for you.  We won't start writing a card that would have been wasted.  If you received a card from me, it's because you weren't home or you ignored me.   Yes, there have been a couple of occasions people have been home and couldn't be bothered to answer the door.  I wrote those two cards with a vengeance for wasting my time, because I still had a loaded van idling. 

Nice Doggy

Sometimes just the sound of my diesel engines is enough to set off a barkfest in the neighbourhood.  Although mostly, dogs wait until I announce myself at the gate or the door, and then start their vigorous declarations of "Don't you dare come into my territory!".  Not a problem if the parcel fits in your letter box or a reasonably safe and secure place to leave it like a crate, shelf, garage or alcove.  Otherwise you get a card and I record "unsecured dog" as the reason.  

There are a few addresses I like to deliver because of a particularly friendly dog.  One of them demands payment in belly rubs for entering, delivering, and leaving the premises. Most other friendly dogs are merely susceptible to my secret stash of dog treats in my cargo pants.

Obstacle Course

Because the mountains are still semi-rural, there is quite a number of relatively remote properties we deliver to.  These "roads" give me the same thrill as any 4wd enthusiast, except I'm driving a high centre of balance loaded van with two-wheel drive, thank goodness for diesel torque.  But not much YOU as the customer can do as this is something for the local government and roads authority to sort out. 

 

What you can do is make it easier for us to get to your front door once we found your address.  

Is the path overgrown? You can give it a trim, especially when you're expecting a package.

Are the steps slippery? Dangerous?  We can leave a card with "Safety issue" as the reason.

Is your front door not actually at the front?  Leave us plenty of clues, we enjoy playing stupid detective. A note would be your best bet,  our detecting abilities get weaker as we get tired from all those 30kg packages of pet products we had to lug that day.

Oh god, you all just turned me into delivery Karen.   Aaaaaghhh!

A year collecting data

Last year I was curious about how I was performing as a delivery driver.  I decided to collect data and measure what I can.  I made a spreadsheet and so far some interesting charts.

Only logical, the farther I have to travel in between deliveries the longer it takes.

And subsequently, the more parcels there are the longer it takes to sequence and load.

 minutes per item

parcels per km

sort sequence and load time 

Next time, I might drill down one level and see if there is a correlation between specific runs and parcel density.

Everything Everywhere All at Once Forever

 SPOILER ALERT

If you haven't seen the movie and don't want spoilers, stop now. 

Come back after.

We'll be right here waiting.

Okay, so either you've seen it or don't care.

This movie connected with me in so many layers, notwithstanding that I am exactly at Evelyn's crossroads.  I am minutely aware that all my choices have led me into this exact moment.  The challenge is to be present in that moment whether it be overwhelming or dreadful. 

I have moments of daydreaming, nostalgically cherry-picking moments in my life where a different choice would have led to a vastly different existence.  Take for example the time I professed my love for the very first time in my life, it was the scariest thing I had ever done in my entire life thus far. Do I win her or do I lose her? I imagined a life ahead that we shared side-by-side, it all hung in the balance. In another universe perhaps that led to a completely different outcome, then fast-forward four decades and imagine how both versions of me would feel about each other's choices? Both of them equipped with the same decades of memories of struggle, triumph, crisis, and mediocrity.

Personally, I love the mundane moments most of all. All the shit that I complained about in my 30s, turns out to be the kind of things I now associate with my happy place.  Like driving to the city twice a day to drop off and collect my wife at her workplace.  I was mostly alone in the car, listening to radio or playing cassettes.  Not unlike my current job delivering parcels.

I've started and abandoned many hobbies, just like Evelyn.  Some of them I occasionally practice like Karate-do and Aikido. Some of them I have turned pro, like cooking and dancing. However, just like Waymond (such an adowable name), I have finally understood the supreme importance of kindness. 

This movie resonates with me in ways so deep. I felt the disappointment of my father and judgement when I made choices he disagreed with.  I wore the same wardrobe in the eighties and nineties. I also dragged my wife and child to start life in a new country, in part because I wanted to prove to my father he was wrong and I was right.  But most of all I remember a moment too when I looked at the endless circle track that I was carving in time-space.  Telling my daughter how to do better as an adult when I wasn't at all sure I had done any better than what my own parents had hoped for. 

I have daydreamed of many versions of myself where I was a warrior, a sailor, an explorer.  These other versions of me I have tried to access, not with paper cuts or butt-plugs, but by actually trying them out. Like when I learned to fly a plane. I once wondered what my life would be like if I pursued my childhood dream to become a pilot.  I've flown enough hours that I'm desperately confident that I can land a single-engine light plane in an emergency.

I've also lived long enough to know that it takes time, a lot of time to get good at anything.  So even if I fall in love with a new hobby, there are even chances that I may stick with it or drop it once I have reached a minimum level of proficiency.  In terms of the movies, that's why they go through great twisted lengths to explain how anyone can just instantaneously learn to fight like a ninja at a convenient plot point.  Because we all inherently know how long it takes to master anything from chess to surfing.

I like to believe there are an infinite versions of me coexisting in infinite universes.  There are universes where I am an actor, dancer, writer, explorer, warrior, teacher, etc.

What if I take this idea much further.  

What about the other people in the universe we all share? So a new universe just split off when I wrote an entire paragraph and decided to delete it all, but what if someone random decides to call in a sickie instead of going to work, which version of me would be in that universe?  

Let me tell you what I am beginning to feel, and it sounds very much explained in The Egg

We practice kindness because everyone else is really us.  We are all connected.  Like leaves from the giant tree of the multiverse, each life in a tangled chain is one Being on an infinite loop of variations and recombinations (Jeremy Beremy?).  

You and I are the same person at various points of our eternal experience.

Aloha. 

I love you too.

Canine Capers

 I'm fairly confident around dogs, I just feel that most dogs would learn to like me. I mean until I have established some sort of rapport with the animal I will treat them with caution and always with respect.

My job as a parcel delivery driver, I have encountered many many dogs of all sizes and temperaments.

Addresses with vicious dogs are well shared among all posties and drivers, just card them. Always. Then there are those dogs who get very territorial crashing against doors and windows while I'm trying to write a card (obviously if the owner was home, there will be a lot shushing and trying to calm down the animals).    I always heed  the sign on the gate that says "beware of dog" (some even have it in Italian -just to show they have culture "attenti al cani").

As a general rule I would call out "Parcel delivery! Is anybody home?"  before opening a gate, sign or no sign.  Usually, dogs would come running out barking as it's probably the most interesting thing to happen to their day. If there are no dogs, I enter, but maintain caution.  Just because there is no beware sign, is no guarantee there isn't any animal to beware of.  I keep an eye out for food or water bowls, or toys. 

In one of my deliveries while still a rookie, a greyhound came to the gate when I called out. He was friendly, sniffed me and let me pat him.  So I figured I'd be okay to drop off the package at the front porch so I opened the gate and let myself in being careful to keep the dog in the yard.  He was so excited he kept rearing up and put muddy pawprints all over my chest, I also realised how his mouth was level with my neck when he did that.   I was about five steps in when a second greyhound I  wasn't aware of arrived next to me like the velociraptor in Jurassic Park.  I froze and made a quick re-assessment of my situation.  I can handle one dog, but two dogs make a pack.  Discretion was the better part of valor so I walked slowly backwards and let myself out of the gate while pretending to play with the dogs.  At no time did the greyhounds bark throughout the whole encounter. The customers can go pick up this package at the post office.

Not long after, I started carrying dog treats with me.  If a dog was nice to me and responds to the "sit" command, they get a treat.  If the owner is present, I'll ask permission first and that usually wins over the human as well.   Sadly though, not all dogs accept bribes.  

A couple of months ago, a dog surprised me just as I finished taking a photo of the card I had jammed into the front door.  I was turning on my heels to step off the veranda, I had to change direction quickly to create distance between me and the dog. The edges were lined with potted plants so I dived over the plants into the garden floor below.  I still clutched the package in one arm so I couldn't put an arm out to break my fall. I tucked my chin against my chest planning to roll on impact. Oof! There was no roll, I landed on my side and had the wind knocked out of me. The dog was friendly and just wanted to say hi.  My ribs were sore for a few days. 

I do have a few favourites, there's Murphy in Hazelbrook who is is just always happy to see us and will be up for a sniff and a pat, maybe a neck rub. 

There's Banjo in Wentworth Falls who is sometimes wandering a few houses from his own and he comes up to me when I'm delivering to any of his neighbours. 

And of course there is Ratchet in Lawson.  When I first delivered to his house, he was lying on the front step trying to stay cool in the summer heat.  He heard me call out and silently ambled toward the gate. I realised he was old and his eyes were a little cloudy.  He let me pet him so I decided to enter through  the gate.  As soon as I closed the gate behind me, Ratchet rolled over and presented his belly.  I get it, it's a shakedown. You wanna deliver? It's gonna be a belly rub to get in and another one to get out.  

Today was another canine adventure.  Usual protocol: Call out.  Listen for barking. No barking.  Enter through the picket fence gate with a little picket archway.  About 10 meters in, another 20 meters to the front door, the backdoor swings open and the homeowner steps out. Okay cool.  Then a big white dog dashes through the backdoor, barking and headed for me. Another quick assessment of my situation. I can outrun this dog, it's only 10m to the gate, and I have a 20m headstart on him. I turn and dash for the gate. 5m to go and I could hear the barking dog closing in. I look over my shoulder and make a re-assessment of the situation: I won't have time to open the gate, I'm going to have to vault it parkour style. I planned out my strides, -left -right -one -two -three -four  /right foot on the wooden bench, -five / left foot on top of the gate  post, -six and-seven would land me outside the gate...  my right foot catches on the picket fence pointy tip and I fall head first outside.  Luckily this time I did roll and avoided injury.  The owner apologised for the dog chasing me, but I was too busy hysterically laughing because I didn't break my neck or crack my skull.  

Chasing my next dream

 When I first settled in the mountains, I had in the back of my mind a desire, a dream to have a salsa dance community in the community I'm in. Well then that led to the next thought which is why don't I teach classes? Well it was difficult to find my feet since I just started a new job as a chef instructor.  Also the rosters were quite unpredictable -I never new until 3 weeks before that I have to do dinner shifts on one or more nights.  And then the pandemic happened.

Fast forward to now and I have a great job that leaves my weekends and my evenings available to -do what I want.  Right now I want to dance. I want to share my passion for dance.  I want to build a salsa dance community in my community!  

And I will need anybody and everybody to help. That's kind of the point.

It might take a while.

That's okay.